Constable Brennan
 

Sam

Sam is in the mafia. He's the little guy with the bad attitude and short fuse who ends up causing all the bad stuff that happens to DeNiro. 

Sam's parents are wicked cool. Constable Brennan probably never would have existed if they hadn't let the 4 of them use the spare house on their farm - lovingly referred to as "the party house". 

One time Sam got caught stealing road signs by the cops and when the cops came to the front window and asked Sam what was in the back seat of the car he said "wood". It was cool.

Steve B.
 Steve is nuts.  Steve owns a van. It used to belong to Mercedes Toast, but now it doesn't. The van is good for getting to gigs, holding stickers, pickle races, and showcasing booger collections. 

Steve is the proud co-owner of Frank. Frank is cooler than Steve. Frank peed on Sam's couch. Sam bought a new couch. On an unrelated topic, anyone who would like to buy a used couch
e-mail Sam atsam@constablebrennan.com

Jamie
 Do you remember the tequila drinking, bad-ass woman in the second Indiana Jones movie? Well her and Pauly Shore got together and Jamie is the product of their drunken love. 

Jamie could out drink that nerd who won the tricycle/chugging race for the Tri-Lams and then go for an easy century club and a couple rounds of Molson Pyramid. 
The Swede
 From Parts Unknown.